Our day has been very different and difficult. Mike woke up with an excrutiating headache. I called the hospice nurse and it was decided he needed to start taking a more effective pain medication. He is finally resting after many hours of pain. It is so difficult to watch him.

Hannah and I sat with Mike in his room and listened to the hymns...How soothing and comforting to listen to those sweet words.

Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer, Thou wilt bind the broken heart.
Let not sorrow overwhelm us; Dry the bitter tears that start.
Curb the winds and calm the billows; Bid the angry tempest cease.
Precious Savior, dear Redeemer, Grant us everlasting peace.

It is wonderful having our family here at this sacred time. We feel your love for us. Thank you for your continued prayers in our behalf. At this point we need this special time to ourselves. I will write on the blog as I can.

Mike slept most of yesterday. This morning he is awake, alert and a bit more talkative. We are both calm and peaceful. I feel a tremendous load taken off my shoulders with the help of the hospice team. They are truly amazing. I think Mike and I both feel safer now. Thanks to all of you for your delightful comments on the previous post. I have read each of them to Mike. I told him I was so grateful that he has been so nice to people throughout his life so we could have some friends! This would be a lonely time without all of you...

Changes

The past two weeks have been very challenging for us. Mike's condition has worsened. Our family made the decision to stop the current treatment. It is time for us to devote all of our energy to making Mike comfortable. We have "refocused our hope" as the nurse told me yesterday. Mike will continue to rest at home. We feel calm and peaceful with our decision. Thanks to all who are continuing to pray in our behalf.

A Good Day

Mike responded to the new pain treatment very well. For the first time in many weeks, he said the headache was MUCH better!!!! We were happy that his blood tests were good and he is healthy for another round of chemo.

We enjoyed a wonderful meal last evening which was prepared by Rudy's "foster mother." It was so good to talk to her about Rudy and know he is extremely happy. (Maybe too happy :) Mike and I have listened endlessly to music that was sent from dear friends who are far, far away. They are the musicians on the CD and hearing their music helps us feel their love for us. We continue to have special angels spend the night with us and give us lots of TLC.

Today is indeed a good day...

This was sent to me by a friend..."Throughout scripture we encounter the need for us to remember that the Lord has His own timetable for unfolding things; it will not always accord with our schedules or our wants. When, in our extremities, we urgently call for a divine response, there may be instead a divine delay. This is not because God, at the moment, is inattentive or loves us less than perfectly. Rather, it is because we are being asked to endure more for the welfare of our souls. The blessed meek understand that God loves them even when they may not be able to explain the meaning of what is happening to them or around them."

MLK day

Some minor changes in Mike's condition, but the chemo will go on next Monday as planned. The headaches have not improved. We will try a new plan. We hope and pray it makes Mike more comfortable. Have I mentioned lately that he is one incredible man. He just keeps taking it...

We continue along

i have felt fatigue and headCHE MOST of the DAY. WE ARE DOING WELL AFTER a nice visit with ou our stake president last night. i have napped and hope for more good rest tonight.

2 days later...

We are 48 hrs. out from Mike's chemo treatment. So far things are going well. Mike is experiencing extreme fatigue, but other than that (as if that is not enough) there haven't seemed to be side effects. His headaches have not subsided, but he has good pain medicine.

We, again, have had an amazing outpouring of support. How can we possibly thank each of you enough for all that you have done for us. I am having help each night and that is really helping me get through each day. There are truly lots of angels here on earth!

The start of new chemothrtapy

This morning I started a new chemotherapy treatment. It is administered by infusion with a new drug just approved last summer for the use of my kind of cancer. Initially it has had very positive results. We were actually at the cancer center for 4+ hours but hope in the future that it will only take about 3 hrs. Nancy says that I slept through most of the infusion. So far I haven't felt any side effects. I was given an anti nausea medication in conjunction with the infusion. We pray that there won't be any ill effects tonight.

Thank you for your continued faith, love & support.

Weekend update

We have had quiet weekend... Yesterday the massage therapist visited our house again. Mike and I felt very relaxed after our massages. Mike slept very well last night. I have had help the last 2 nights and have also slept well. Sleep really does make all the difference!

Andy stayed with Mike this a.m. and I was able to go to church. It was nice to be there again. Two of the young men from our church brought the sacrament to Mike. We are so grateful for that. We had a couple of visitors and some nice phone calls.

We have anxiety about starting this new regimen, but tomorrow is our day and we will do it. Mike's headaches have not subsided much, so hopefully this treatment will make him more comfortable. We do worry about the side effects, but having weighed our options, this seems to be the best right now.

Your prayers in Mike's behalf will be so appreciated as he begins this new treatment.

Explanation of the treatment plan

We made another visit to the cancer center today for a "training" to get the new therapy started. Mike will have the first infusion on Monday. We were told to expect the treatment to last about 3 hours. Mike will first get antinausea medication and steroids through the IV and then the chemotherapy. We were told the side effects usually start on therapy day and can last a few days. Since hemorrhaging is a side effect, the doctor has decided to take Mike off of his blood thinner. This was a question I asked on Tuesday and after thinking about it, the doctor made the decision.

Mike's immunity will be compromised with the treatment, so we will again have to avoid crowds and sick people. The hand sanitizer will be available when you want to visit. The dosage of steroids was again increased and I think Mike's headaches may be a bit better today. We are hoping this continues as he has suffered greatly with them for the last week.

This morning, after a particularly rough night, a dear friend called from far away Peru. It was so wonderful to hear her voice and feel her calm spirit. I truly believe she was an angel sent to comfort me. We also were recipient of other angelic help today in the way of errands being run, snow being cleared and food being delivered. We appreciate all of our angel friends.

A tiring day...

Mike does have some new malignancy around the cavity where his first tumor was removed. Obviously the current chemo treatments are not working. A new chemo drug was approved July, 2009. We will try that course. Mike will get infusions once every 2 weeks. The doc said there aren't bad side effects like with most chemo. All we can do is hope for the best, whatever that might be. We think the doctors and staff at the cancer center are the best there are anywhere in the world. We will not be going elsewhere for any treatments. Right now this is cutting edge.

What a comfort it was to have all of our kids with us today when we visited the doctor. I absolutely love our children as adults. They are all amazing. Hannah stayed an extra night and will fly out early in the morning. She is with Ty and Kim tonight so she will be closer to the airport.

Thank all of you for your prayers in our behalf. We know a kind wise Heavenly Father is listening to each and every one of them. We are buoyed up by your faith.

The news isn't what we wanted to hear from the MRI... We don't know the full extent of what is happening but will have a visit with the doctor today to discuss our next course of action. Mike is sleeping much of the time with pain meds every 4 hours. All of our kids will go with us to the doctor today. They have been such support to us.

The doctor feels that an MRI will be the best approach to finding the cause of Mike's recent headaches. We will have that today and an appointment with the doctor tomorrow.

We have been through these so many times that now we feel that it is always best to know the facts. We feel peaceful and calm, knowing that our lives are in the hands of the Lord.

We so appreciate your prayers in our behalf. More later.

PRESSING FORWARD with faith

After a headache which persisted for 3 days and imagining new tumor growth and lots and lots of anxiety, Nancy found a drug combination which made it go away after a morning nap. Nancy is the best caregiver ever. I am forever indebted to her.

Nancy here... I phoned the doctor this a.m. and she enlightened me as to what medications Mike could take. I didn't want anyone to think I am amazing with drugs :) Anyway, we are happy to report that Mike is feeling much, much better. We probably will proceed with another MRI at the first of the week. Persistent headaches are always alarming.